As I look at my magickal bookshelf for something to look back on, to give me more insight, or just something to randomly give me something to think about during a road trip, I get depressed. There’s not much on there that really makes me think, “Wow, that’s a really unique idea. I think I’m going to put that into practice.” Maybe it’s the fact that every facet of these books has been explored and reiterated back to me over and over again throughout my random website searches. Maybe it’s the fact that I spend too much time at the computer reading “advanced” discussion boards. Maybe it’s just the fact that I’ve read through most of the books that I own. Or maybe it’s that there has been so few revolutionary thoughts in the past few decades that I haven’t heard of the books that they’re in or the people who’ve come up with them.
How many different books does a person have to buy to finally come up with something noteworthy? Yes, I have most of the Crowley library in hard copy or on the computer, and yes I have perused them to my heart’s content, but they have been rehashed over and over again. I know that they hold a lifetime’s worth of knowledge, and quality knowledge at that, enough in fact, to keep someone busy for a decade at least. I’m just looking for something new, something that hasn’t been rehashed. I started with Cunningham’s work (as many people do) and quickly realized there wasn’t much in the way of substance there. I worked through a lot of the Golden Dawn stuff and though there’s a lot of substance there, I simply do not feel completely happy with all of their thoughts and ideas. I’ve gone through much of the original Wiccan thoughts and ideas and have found them to be lacking in many places. I could go on and on about the books and the ideas that I’ve explored and though they are worthwhile studies and practices to pursue, I am tired of them. I want something new.
No, please don’t refer me to another book written in 1905. Please don’t send me a magickal text from the 1600’s (okay, actually send it to me simply because I’d love to have it, but don’t refer me to it). Send me something new. A new idea even. Hell, I’d take a random thought that hasn’t been published by 200 Llewellyn authors, a new idea for a ritual, even a new name for a pet. Magickal journals everywhere rehash the same ideas that were brought to light by someone a century ago. Magazines and ezines take the same trash and reiterate it to me over and over again. You wonder why these magazines and ezines are failing? It’s because anyone who’s interested enough in magick and Pagan thoughts to buy a magazine or sign up for an ezine probably already knows everything written in them. I’ve been doing this stuff for almost 8 years and I’m coming up to what I think is the end of written knowledge.
There are literally thousands upon thousands of Pagan authors out there, and yet I haven’t found any books written in the past 20 years that are truly noteworthy. I take that back, there are many authors out there that have done plenty for the Pagan community in their efforts to “convert” and “get us out of the broom closet”, but I haven’t found any that are noteworthy for the people who actually understand what they’re doing. Why is that? I know that I’ve put thoughts and ideas up on this blog that haven’t ever been written about or published by anyone else because I thought of them. I didn’t reiterate something from a manuscript. I didn’t combine all of the knowledge that I’ve gained so far and put it onto the internet. Obviously, that information is already out there. What I did was think, “Hey, that’s a cool idea. Maybe I’ll put it on my blog.” Then I sat down and wrote it. The end. So why is it that I haven’t found these revolutionary thoughts everywhere? Why is it that when somebody has practiced some sort of magick for 35 years, they haven’t had those errant thoughts that change their perspectives or practices to some degree? And if they have, where are those errant thoughts stored? Did they write them down? Or were they lost, as dreams are lost?
So I challenge you, the reader to take what I say and think about it. Do you have those errant thoughts? Do you practice in some way differently than what the books say? What are those small pieces that are different? A change in the way that you make a gesture, a change in the wording, or a different type of tool that you came up with is what I’m looking for.